Myself · Reflection

My Scattered Mind

“Right now I am typing this and my mind is panicking.
It always does.”
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Photo taken by Andylyn Gimena

Every single moment I am awake.

There are so many things running in my brain that it makes it tough to think clearly. 

All I think about is work.
Work, work, and work.

I also think about my future.
I think about my family and their future. I think about my father and his future.

I think about our house and what I want to do with it.
I think about the vacations I would love to be in.
I think about what groceries I would need.
I think about the laundry I need to do.
I think about the bills I need to pay.
I think about the things I often think about.

And this happens every sleepless night.

That’s why I would like someone to invent a brain switch.
I’d like my brain to turn off at night when I lay down on my bed.
I don’t want to be awake, thinking about the 4,000 things I want or need to do.
I just want to lie down, flip that switch and get a good, peaceful sleep.

I want to wake up in the morning, turn the switch on, deal with the upcoming day, and then switch it off whenever I don’t need it.

When I want to think, I will.
When I don’t want to, I won’t.

This is how brains should work.

Mine is so troubled I’m afraid it would wear itself out.

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